George Carlin on cats

“If you own a cat and you have a leg, you’ve got a happy cat.”

“He´ll rub against your legs even if you’re not there yet. You might be twenty feet down the hall. As soon as he sees you coming he starts walking sideways. He doesn’t want to miss a shot at your legs.”

“Cats have another quality I find admirable:blamelessness. When a cat makes a mistake, he doesn’t accept responsability or show embasarassment. If he does something really stupid, like jumping onto a table and landing in four separate coffee cups, somehow he passes the whole thing off as routine.”

“A cat can make any mistake appear intentional. Have you ever seen a cat race across the room and crash into a glass door? It doesn’t faze him at all. WHIZZ! SPLAT!! “I meant that! I actually meant that. That’s exactly what I was trying to do.”